Has your child every told you that he’s bored of sleeping? A “forever tired” Mama message me asking how to solve this problem, and with that, my new Ask Christine column was officially born.

“He wakes up at night to tell me he’s bored of sleeping”

Hey Christine,

I have a question about my 5-year-old son’s sleep. His name is Zachary and pretty much every night he wakes up multiple times to tell me he is bored of sleeping. If it’s not that, he still wakes up and wants to come into our bed and fall asleep with us. I feel like we have tried everything to encourage Zachery to stay in his bed all night, but nothing has worked! We are truly exhausted of this routine and we need some help, please! 

– Forever Tired


Hi Forever Tired, 

First off – know that this is super normal and this is not the first time I have heard a parent complain that their child is bored of sleeping. Even my 3 year old currently goes to bed each night and complains about how “she doesn’t like to go to sleep sometimes.” 

Working with this age is a lot of fun. After all, a 5-year-old is typically able to communicate quite clearly and can totally understand what is going on. For those reasons alone, it is very different working with this age compared to working with an infant. 

Dig into the schedule

My first move is to dig deep into Zachary’s little life and look at what his schedule looks like day-to-day. I would want to know what time bedtime is, what time he falls asleep and then what happens after that on an average night (among many other things!) So I would encourage you, FT, to even just keep a sleep log for a few nights to see if you can see any patterns arise. Such as: does it always take Zachary 30 minutes to fall asleep when you put him to bed at 8? Is it always around the same time every night that he gets out of bed? Those kind of details can be very helpful when finding the root cause of the sleep struggle. 

What about the routine?

 

Next, we need to look at routine. Do you have a bedtime routine established that helps cue Zachary to sleep each night? If you do, what does it look like? Remember that we want the routine to be short and sweet at this age. We want bedtime to look the same each night and for it to be a predictable and stable routine in your little man’s life. And make sure you’ve included some one-on-one child led play as the first step in your routine. Establishing connection right before bed is huge, so do not skip this step. This not only helps our kids to look forward to bedtime, but it also builds that parent-child bond that both parties crave.

Other things to consider:

  • Screen time: No screens after 5 pm. Seriously.
  • Diet: Of course a balanced diet is vital, but including healthy fats in the last meal of the day can really help our sleep.
  • Sugar intake: Our kids are sensitive to sugar late in the day. So be mindful of sweets in the late afternoon and evening.
  • Water intake: Be mindful that a full bladder will 100% affect how our children stay asleep.

Now the big one – independent sleep.

 

Does your son fall asleep independently? At this age, that means he goes to sleep on his own and in his own bed/room. If a parent is laying down with Zachary until he falls asleep, he is looking for that when he wakes at night (and why he is coming into your room at night wanting to sleep with you.) Establishing that solo sleep will be the biggest piece to get into place to create lasting sleep overnight. Often children who are looking for their parents in the middle of the night, have fallen asleep next to a parent at the start of the night.

Last but not least – try a reward and consequence approach.

 

This can work extremely well with this age! Be super consistent with the consequence you decide on. Even just one slip while he is learning the new process can feel like you took two giant steps backwards. Always remember that you won’t always have to be so strict.. it’s just super important in the beginning and then the flexibility will come.

Good Luck FT! This age can be trying while shaping sleep, but it also can be a lot of fun! Make a plan, stay consistent and know I’m always here for you.

With love, 

Christine